Five Stages of Sex

Smurf sex: at the start of the relationship, you do it 'til you're blue in the face.
Kitchen sex: you're together and you do it in every room in the house.
Bed sex: you're getting in rut, so you only do it in bed.
Hallway sex: when you pass in the hallway, you tell each other to **** off.
Court sex: you go to court to get screwed by your wife.