Saturday, June 02, 2012
Sunday, July 01, 2007
P.S. It seems Sky is trying to lose another show it's audience. After taking Lost and 24 from must-see status to TV footnote, word is that they're trying to grab Prison Break from 5. Looks like they still haven't realised that hijacking shows won't have the fans flocking to them, only make them even more despised, and give the show the kiss of death.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
The grass is always greener the other side of the fence is an old adage that it seems millions have taken to heart. Many UK citizens are heading to pastures new in the former colonies of America, Canada and Australia, while the UK is bracing itself for a wave of Romanians and Bulgarians trying to enter as these countries become the latest inductees of the European Union. This on top of the influx of immigrants - especially from the middle and far east - which is increasing the population by 500 bodies a week on an already crowded island (the UK population density is four times greater than the rest of Europe and 12 times greater than the USA). This has given rise to hysterical headlines and intense debate on the benefits and detriments of this perceived inpouring of legal entrances, without introducing the vexed subject of illegal immigrants. In a further twist, Romania is seeing an increase of migrants from China.
Is it me? The National Operatic and Dramatic Association (Noda) reckon panto needs new gags and new stories. Noda chief executive Mark Pemberton said the vast majority of amateur theatre groups want to perform traditional titles, such as Cinderella and Mother Goose.
"There is nothing wrong with this, of course," he said. "The titles are tried and tested, and some audiences are attracted to the traditional.
"But there are some groups and pantomime publishers who hunger for something different.
"It is also the content of pantomimes that needs reviewing for the 21st century. Are some of the traditional titles and gags over-used and exhausted? Most date back to the 19th century and the days of Victorian music hall and Dan Leno.
"And some of the titles, like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Robinson Crusoe, are becoming more difficult to stage in this age of political correctness.
"So perhaps it is time for pantomime writers to think of new titles – why not Big Brother the Panto? – and new gags."
Mr Pemberton said that Noda, which publishes pantos for the amateur theatre market, would be delighted to offer something modern and different to its membership.
He added: "It is frustrating to be sent scripts by aspiring writers that show little originality, shoe-horn in the same gags and read like production-line fodder. We need new titles and new jokes for a new century." With panto people know what they're getting, a major reason they go in the first place. And while the formula goes way back, the story evolves each year to incorporate highlights of the year, so I'm pretty sure that big brother will have been incorportated in a panto at some time. Progress is fine, but aren't some traditions worth keeping?
Is it me 2? Rail fares have gone up to reduce passenger numbers. Brilliant. Why don't we raise the price of cars so less people drive? Put up air fares so less people fly? (Oh, they have). It's not as if poor people have to travel anyway....
Friday, January 12, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
Ok thought I, no problem, my username and password were different so I updated them in the Digg profile. The same error came up. After numerous attempts at updating the info and trying to post, I decided to see if anyone else had experienced the same problem. The upshot is that the Digg link won't work with the new Blogger, nor will some other third-party websites. Flickr was one of them, but they have since updated their software to accept the new Blogger. Guess I'll just have to wait until Digg does the same. Until then, here are the stories I wanted to post.....
Sunday, January 07, 2007
New Year's resolutions have a tendency to be made with enthusiasm and determination. Unfortunately, very often they're forgotten by the time February rolls around.
Here are 7 simple ways to make New Year's resolutions that stick and help you accomplish your goals.
1. THINK SHORT TERM.
For most people, making a resolution for the entire year is way too difficult. Instead, make your resolutions once per month; January resolutions, February resolutions, etc. They're much easier to achieve and the accomplishments can be celebrated sooner. Plus, if you don't quite reach what you want to accomplish in any given month, you can simply move that resolution into the next month--no more feeling so guilty that you have to wait an entire year to start over again!
2. FOCUS ON A FEW.
It's nearly impossible to do everything you've always wanted to do in a short period of time. To be sure you don't forget about the goals you'd like to accomplish, write them all down on a Master Goals List. Then, each month throughout the year, focus on the one or two that are most important to you. You won't get overwhelmed and you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
3. MAKE YOUR RESOLUTIONS S-M-A-R-T:
- SPECIFIC: Your resolutions must be specific. For instance, saying that you'd like to spend more time with your kids in the new year is too general. However, saying that you vow to spend 1 hour of quality time with your kids each Friday and Wednesday, immediately following dinner, is very concrete and specific.
- MEASUREABLE: Resolutions that are worked on and achieved, are those that can be measured and tracked. When you think of making a resolution, think in terms of numbers. Perhaps you'd like to lose weight. Thinking in numbers, you might state that you'd like to lose 5 pounds--1 pound per month for the next 5 months. Or possibly you'd like to go on a short vacation. Thinking in numbers, you may state that you'd like to save £51 (£52 ($100)) per month, so you can go on a bed and breakfast weekend in June.
- ATTAINABLE: You can certainly make challenging resolutions, but don't make them so difficult that they're going to be almost impossible to achieve. You can always break your resolution down into smaller goals. For instance, if you'd like to put aside £26 (£26 ($50)) per month, make a resolution to set aside £6.42 (£6.45 ($12.50)) per week.
- REALISTIC: You might want to be a pro golfer this year, but if you haven't even started training yet, then this resolution is going to be unrealistic and unattainable. Instead, set more realistic goals, such as taking a few basic golf lessons or playing golf once per week on Tuesdays for practice.
- TIMELY: The word 'someday' is indefinite. Yet, often people say they have so many things they'd like to accomplish ... someday. Resolutions with no start or end date in mind never get accomplished. Be sure all of your resolutions have both a deadline, and a starting date. For example, you might say you'd like to change your job. Your deadline might be March, 2001, and your start date might be next week--determining what you'd like to do, seeking available positions, etc.
4. TELL THE WORLD.
It's so important to be motivated about the things you'd like to accomplish. When you make a resolution, tell your spouse or a friend. Post a message on a discussion forum. Tell a co-worker. You'll be more determined to accomplish your goal, if other people are cheering you on.
5. GIVE YOURSELF SOME VISUALS.
If you're constantly staring your resolution in the face every day, you're bound to keep it uppermost in your mind. If you'd like to lose weight, keep a photo of an actress or actor you want to use as a model, on your refrigerator. Want to go on a vacation? Post a photograph of your dream destination where you're sure to see it throughout the day.
6. CONQUER MINOR SETBACKS.
There are so many things going on in your daily life, and you may experience a day or two when you lose track of the resolutions you set. That's ok. Get right back on track. No need to wait until next year, or the 1st of next month. Simply make any day of the week DAY ONE, and begin working on your resolution again. Winston Churchill once said, in the shortest speech ever made, 'Never, never, never give up.' Heed his words of wisdom.
7. CELEBRATE YOUR WINS.
Celebrating your accomplishments along the way will give you the motivation to keep going! Set appropriate rewards for each mini-resolution you make, and have a small celebration for each one you achieve. Let's say you'd like to put aside £5.14 (£5.16 ($10)) per week in January. For every £5.14 (£5.16 ($10)) you're able to save at the end of each week, you might indulge yourself in an hour's worth of free time to enjoy one of your hobbies. Reward yourself. You deserve it!
by Maria Gracia - Get Organized Now!
Want to get organized? Get your FREE Get Organized Now! Idea-Pak, filled with tips and ideas to help you organize your home, your office and your life, at the Get Organized Now! Web site
Monday, January 01, 2007
Sunday, December 24, 2006
If your curiosity made you click this, be prepared to groan....
Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one
Where does Tarzan buy his clothes?
At a jungle sale
What can you make that cannot be seen?
What do you call just married spiders?
What happened when the Ice Monster ate a curry?
He blew his cool
Why did the tightrope walker visit his bank?
To check his balance.
What did the fireman's wife get her for Christmas?
A ladder in her stocking
What was the tortoise doing on the motorway?
About 1 mph.
Tuner: I've come to tune your piano.
Mr Smith: But I didn't send for you.
Tuner: No, your neighbours did.
Which bird always succeeds?
A budgie with no teeth.
What do monsters have for breakfast?
How do you make an apple puff?
Chase it round the garden a few times.
Where did Sir Lancelot study?
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a grasshopper?
A woolly jumper.
(Also see: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?)
What do you call a man with a spade?
What do you call a man who's lost his spade?
What's purple and shouts "Help"?
A damson in distress.
Doctor, doctor! Please can you help me out?
Of course - which way did you come in?
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time.
How do you stop a skunk smelling?
Hold its nose.
How do you spell hungry horse with four letters?
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Ride 'em cowboy!
What's the best birthday present for a little boy?
Well a drum takes a lot of beating!
Why did the baby foal take throat lozenges?
Because he was a little horse.
Who was the biggest robber in history?
Atlas - he held up the world.
How's the little lad who swallowed the £1 coin, doctor?
No change yet, I'm afraid.
How do Vikings send secret messages?
They use Norse code.
What did the great explorer eat in the jungle?
Steak and pygmy pie.
What will they do if the Forth Bridge collapses?
Build a fifth bridge.
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.
Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip to outer space?
He wanted to find Pluto.
Why was the Egyptian boy confused?
Because his daddy was a mummy.
Why do animals have fur coats?
Because they'd look silly in anoraks.
What question can you never answer YES to?
Are you asleep?
Teacher: Make up a sentence using the word centimetre?
Boy: My little sister was walking home, and I was centimetre.
What do you call a man wearing ear-muffs?
Anything you like - he can't hear you!
What kind of paper likes music?
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.
(Also see: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a grasshopper?)
What lives in the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A jelly baby.
What's the most popular gardening magazine in the world?
What do you call a fairy who hasn't had a wash for a week?
Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
It wanted to be a first aid kit.
What does Santa Claus use to wee his garden?
His hoe hoe hoe hoe.
Customer: Excuse me, waiter, do you know what kind of bird this is?
Waiter: It's a wood pigeon, Sir.
Customer: I thought so - bring me a saw.
Did you hear about the fool who goeas round saying No?
Oh, so it's you.
What would you get if all the cars in the U.S. were red?
A red carnation
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with sore feet.
What do ghosts play at parties?
Haunt and seek.
Where do frogs leave their coats?
In the croakroom.
Who wrote the book Christmas Decorations?
Miss L Toe
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Who wrote the book about insomniacs?
What is green and moody? The incredible sulk.
Customer: Waiter! Waiter! This egg's bad.
Waiter: Don't blame me. I only lay the tables.
Why do bees hum?
Because they can't remember the words.
Newsflash: Forty pedigree dogs have been stolen.
Police say they have no leads.
Do you know the quickest way to the station?
Yes - run!
Waht do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers
My girlfriend's a twin.
How can you tell them apart?
Her bother's got a beard.
What do you call a man with jelly in one ear and custard in the other?
A triffle deaf.
Teacher: Where are the Andes?
Pupil: At the end of your armies
How does a monkey make toast in the zoo?
He sticks it under the gorilla.
Why did the landlord refuse to serve the ghost?
He didn't have a licence to serve spirits.
Jump up or down the page
I wouldn't say that my room was small but the mice are hunchbacked.
Why did the custard cry?
Because it saw the apple crumble
Who babysits for the kids?
What do you get after it has been taken?
Which dog is the most expensive of all?
A deer hound!
Wife: Did you take a bath this morning?
Husband: Why is there one missing?
How do hens dance?
Chick to chick
What has a bottom at the top?
Why did the nurse creep into the cupboard?
So as not to wake the sleeping pills
What has a neck but no head?
How do you start a pudding race?
Three men fell into the river, but only two got their hair wet. Why?
One of them was bald.
What goes whistling up the aisle at a wedding?
The bride's train.
What is grey, has four legs, a tail and a trunk?
A mouse going on holiday.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with.
What is out of tune, rotten and goes to sea?
Sing bad the sailor.
What is the quickest way to double your money?
What do you get if you cross a river with a bike?
Doctor, I've a bucket on my head.
I thought you looked a little pail!
What do you call two newly married spiders?
What goes tick-tock-woof?
A watch dog!
Where does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary
How does Jack Frost get to work?
What do you do with a sick budgie?
Give him tweetment
Which members of an orchestra can't you trust?
Where do tadpoles go to change into frogs?
In the croakroom!
What does the ocean say when it meets the coast?
Nothing it just waves!
What do you get from nervous cows?
Who can shave three times a day and still have a beard?
If you can stand more, try here, or here....