Steamy

In The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, Ford Prefect extols the virtues of always having your towel. Not sure he had this in mind though.....

Tags: Lynx, Towelboy, HGTTG

Pharmacology ...

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp.announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Tags: Viagra, pharmacology, funnies

As I Mature....

As I mature I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big willy
or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is at
first, the passion fades, and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that the people you care most
about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.

Thanks, Boss

So, we shed a tear here in the UK as the sun sets on the Bartlet administration, as the best President the USA has never had hands over to his successor Matt Santos. After many highs and lows (and that's just Channel Four's scheduling) we say goodbye to Jed, Josh, Donna, CJ, Charlie, Toby, Sam and an especially poignant goodbye to Leo, and to the actor John Spencer, who died during filming of the last series. I shall miss the snappy banter, superb acting and intelligent scripts that gave us characters that we acutally believed in and cared about. But, thanks to the wonders of DVD, they can live on in our TVs (and without the ******* annoying buffer ads). Another good sign is that Four has taken Aaron Sorkin's next project, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. But for now, let's raise a glass and say "Thank you, Mr President."

Tags: West Wing, Martin Sheen, Aaron Sorkin

Tenant Time

This week's renter is Jen with her blog Casual Slack. The tagline is "Quality Nonsense, Served Up Fresh Daily". The blog is an eclectic mix of comment, pics and video with a scattergun approach, so if you don't like one thing, I'm sure something you do won't be far away. For instance, her latest post celebrates the 25th annervsary of MTV. Jeez, it only seems five minutes since we were gorping open mouthed at the astounding computer graphics on Dire Straits' Money For Nothing video as it launched MTV in the UK...... After you've checked that out, come back and take a look at the blogroll further down the sidebar for more surfing adventure....

Flying Floyd

Congrats to Floyd Landis on winning the Tour de France. After the departure of Lance Armstrong and the absence of other favourites the Tour has been one of the most open for years. At the start of the week it appeared that the American had things sewn up, but losing 8 minutes in a single stage seemed to have demolished his chances. But remarkably he regained most of that the next day, and the final time trial on Saturday put him back in the Yellow Jersey for the final day along the Champs-Elysees. Full marks also to all the riders that finished after four weeks of hell in the saddle, riding six hours a day in punishing heat. And our footballers moan about being too hot jogging round a pitch for an hour and a half. They should hang their heads in shame....

Tags: Tour de France, Floyd Landis, Yellow Jersey

You want ice with that?

In the pantheon of obvious statements, the recent "keep drinking water in the hot weather" proclamation is up there with "keep putting one foot infront of the other for walking". But how much should you drink? With what? Hot or cold? The answers to these questions and more can be found at the WaterAid site. They have an interactive section that can tell you how much you should be drinking, what you should be drinking, and what happens when you don't. You can also download a popup reminder or a screensaver if you want. WaterAid is a charity dedicated to bringing water and sanitation to the poorest parts of the word, so you may want to give a small donation while you're there. If you prefer your water with hops and barley, you could follow the lead of a chap called Nikola Opacic. The 70 year old Croat has not had a drop of water in the past 37 years, drinking beer instead, "It's not that our water isn't good, but it can't quench my thirst," Opacic said. He went off water while working as a construction worker in Munich, Germany, in 1969, saying that, as the water in Germany was of very poor quality, he began drinking beer instead, and never lost the habit. Unfortunately, it seems a lot of people have already taken up this regime....

Tags: wateraid, water, drinking, Nikola Opacic

Cyanide and Happiness

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Came across these guys recently. The humour's a bit hit and miss, but I think you'll find something to tickle your funny bone....

Tags: cartoons

The 100 science fiction books you just have to read!

"Take my word for it; all science fiction books are not created equal. Many of these novels are award winners, and most have inspired profound trends in science fiction."

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Top five things Linux can learn from Microsoft

Linux does a lot of things right -- open-source, security, reliability -- but it's far from perfect. Here's SJVN's list of the top five things that Linux could learn from Microsoft.

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Random Irritations and Joys No 115

Random Irritations of Life: Banks charging you penalties when it's not your fault (fight back here) Stupid people wittering inanely on the radio.... And people who continue to argue when they're plainly wrong (and keeping me waiting a quarter of an hour) People saying "It's tooo hooot...." make the most of it - we'll be back in jumpers and coats before you know it... My soundcard drivers screwing up my system - everytime I try to play music or video the whole thing locks up...

Random Joys of Life: Watching Superman Returns in a gloriously air-conditioned cinema.....Or sitting at home by the fan in my shorts with a cool drink in hand.... Superman Returns not being a turkey..... Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow..... All the Union flags still flying.... Mark Radcliffe on in the afternoons instead of Steve Wright....

Tags: Irritations, Joys

Future's Bright

As the Prof says, good news for Futurama fans. Comedy Central have ordered new 13 episodes of the Matt Groening's animated series. All the main voices are returning, including Katey Sagal (Peggy from Married with Children - recently on ITV2, and hopefully back soon). The series is due in 2008, so with any luck Sky One will have it not too long after.

Tags: Futurama, New series

WTF?

In the People newspaper's Sport section: Football's Back! Err, did it ever go away?

Blimey! An Ant and Dec show I half like!
The owners of Alton Towers are used to red faces, but this time it's them and not their patrons who're looking rosy cheeked. The theme park has booked a couple's wedding reception on the same day a Muslim company has booked a fun day for their employees. The couple have been told they cannot drink or have music, only halal food will be served, the rides will be segregated by gender, and the women will have to cover up, though are spared headscarves. The day has been organised with the aim of 'integrating Muslims into the wider community.' Is it me? For full story and serious replies click here. For piss-takes click here.

Tags: PokerFace, Alton Towers

Digital Steam

There's chap I meet occasionally at work who's fanatical about steam engines, especially on trains, and not at all interested in the digital age. When I asked him if he'd used the laptop he'd been given recently, his terse reply was, "No, I don't know where to put the coal in!" Well, now I can tell him! This is actually an art installation. It's creators wanted to bridge the old and new age of technology. The Steam Powered Internet Machine is the latest deeply eccentric project from Turner-prizewinning artist Jeremy Deller and his collaborator Alan Kane. "We were thinking about something that connects the industrial revolution and the digital revolution," said Deller. Kane added: "They are worlds apart but there's also a proximity. The steam age and the digital age are not so far apart." The artists say that the current era - when it is possible to have travelled by steam train as a child and be surfing the internet now - calls to mind JMW Turner's masterpiece, The Fighting Temeraire, which marks the moment when the great sailing ships gave way to steam. "We're at a certain point in British history, at the end of something," said Deller. For more info click here. I'm off to get the nutty slack....

Tenant Time

Renting the real estate this week is JBCarey. His blog has a mixture of posts, games and pics, and is a fun read. So give him a click so his hard earned credits aren't in vein....be warned though, his pong game can get addictive..... While you're down there (ooh err) give the tag cloud a try. If anyone can tell me a different or better way of highlighting previous blogs, I be glad to hear it. A site called Opinmind has a quote generator that picks random lines from old posts. At the moment it's only available for Typepad accounts, and they have no intention of extending it to blogger at the mo, which is a shame.

It'll never catch on....

A new aid to rapid--almost magical--learning has made its appearance. Indications are that if it catches on all the electronic gadgets will be so much junk.

The new device is known as Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge. The makers generally call it by its initials, BOOK(tm).

Many advantages are claimed over the old-style learning and teaching aids on which most people are brought up nowadays. It has no wires, no electric circuit to break down. No connection is needed to an electricity power point. It is made entirely without mechanical parts to go wrong or need replacement.
Anyone can use BOOK(tm), even children, and it fits comfortably into the hands. It can be conveniently used sitting in an armchair by the fire.
How does this revolutionary, unbelievably easy invention work?
Basically BOOK(tm) consists only of a large number of paper sheets. These may run to hundreds where BOOK(tm) covers a lengthy program of information. Each sheet bears a number in sequence, so that the sheets cannot be used in the wrong order.
To make it even easier for the user to keep the sheets in the proper order they are held firmly in place by a special locking device called a "binding".
Each sheet of paper presents the user with an information sequence in the form of symbols, which he absorbs optically for automatic registration on the brain. When one sheet has been assimilated a flick of the finger turns it over and further information is found on the other side. By using both sides of each sheet in this way a great economy is effected, thus reducing both the size and cost of BOOK(tm). No buttons need to be pressed to move from one sheet to another, to open or close BOOK(tm), or to start it working.
BOOK(tm) may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. Instantly it is ready for use. Nothing has to be connected up or switched on. The user may turn at will to any sheet, going backwards or forwards as he pleases. A sheet is provided near the beginning as a location finder for any required information sequence.
A small accessory, available at trifling extra cost, is the BOOK(tm)mark. This enables the user to pick up his program where he left off on the previous learning session. BOOK(tm)mark is versatile and may be used in any BOOK(tm).
The initial cost varies with the size and subject matter. Already a vast range of BOOK(tm)s is available, covering every conceivable subject and adjusted to different levels of aptitude. One BOOK(tm), small enough to be held in the hands, may contain an entire learning schedule.
Once purchased, BOOK(tm) requires no further upkeep cost; no batteries or wires are needed, since the motive power, thanks to an ingenious device patented by the makers, is supplied by the brain of the user.
BOOK(tm)s may be stored on handy shelves and for ease of reference the program schedule is normally indicated on the back of the binding.
Altogether the Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge seems to have great advantages with no drawbacks. We predict a big future for it.

I want it FAST.....

A new data transfer protocol for the Internet fast enough to download a full-length DVD movie in less than five seconds, the California Institute of Technology said today.
The protocol is called FAST, standing for Fast Active queue management Scalable Transmission Control Protocol (TCP).

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Put the camera down, sonny....

I was at the theatre recently watching a show with a well known singer as the lead (ok, it was Boogie Nights 2 and it was David Essex - I like cheesy 80s songs!). Up in the Dress Circle, we had a good view of the stage and the audience below. When David made his entrance, I looked down at the stalls to see them lit up with the glowing of mobile phones as the front rows snapped away. Instead of looking at their hero (they were mainly women of certain age...) in the flesh a few metres away, they were more concerned with getting a fuzzy photo and watching through a teeny screen. Until that is the ushers came and told them off. This the point this site is trying to make. How many times have you been to place and events, and seen people with a camera or camcorder clamped to their faces? Or done it yourself? I've been guilty of it on occasions. The purpose of this site and it's Nonphotography Day on July 17th is to get people to stop experiencing things vicariously, and engage with the reality of their surroundings. I had been looking for a pic to got with this post, but then thought that was rather defeating the object.....

Tags: Photography, Non Photography, July 17th

Question Time

We all have questions. Some trivial, like, "What's for lunch?" Others more profound, like, "How can we ensure everyone has access to fresh water?" The site dropping knowledge is interested in the latter. At first glance the website looks like a typical charity site, but instead of money, it's appealing for questions. Your questions. It's aim is to try and turn apathy in activity, to encourage people to ask questions and hopefully, get answers. Or spark something off in others, and change things despite government, rather than through it. Check it out, it'll make you think. And maybe question.

Tags: Dropping Knowledge, questions, wall of questions

The hurt goes on....

So once again the hopes of the nation are dashed. Sven's men are out on penalites once again, and all that's left is the post mortem. It seems that in matches at this level, with a couple of exceptions, teams don't try to win matches, just not lose them. I recently read a piece where the writer was comparing scoring systems, and that in his opinion a goal was more precious than, say, points for a try. The only trouble is that because they are so precious, once a team has one they close shop, and their only concern is on not conceeding. It seems Football is one of the few sports where the players spend as much time going back as forward. Patient build-ups and keeping possession are ok, but don't make exciting viewing. Look at rugby, gridiron, basketball, all the emphasis is on going forward. Another disappointing feature is that although very player would say he gives 110%, it took Rooney's sending off to spark passion and determination in the team. If they'd have played the first 62 minutes like they did the rest of the match, then Portugal wouldn't have stood a chance, though the system of having only one player upfront would still have made things difficult. But, hindsight is a wonderful thing, and now we can only look forward and see what Steve McClaren can do in the European Championships. And hope our most recent World Cup winners can pull themselves out the doldrums and get back on a winning streak.... Plus, there's The Ashes to retain....

Tags: England, World Cup, Scoring, Sports, Football

Lions Led By Donkeys

Today is the 9oth anniversay of the first day of the battle of the Somme. It was the start of a major offensive by Allied troops on German positions. Some 750,000 went into battle, an attacking force heavily outnumbering the opposition, and victory seemed assured. But earlier blunders meant that the German forces were ready for the assault and devestated the Allied ranks. 58,000 men were killed or injured in a single day. It led to the rise of the opinion that the soldiers were "lions led by donkeys", as the officers in charge continued with the same mistake again and again. They hadn't realised that the rules of engagement had changed. Technology and weaponry had advanced, and the old ways did not apply. The TV series BlackAdder goes Forth shows much of the horror and lunacy that was apparent, and the final scenes of the last episode remain with all that watch it.....

Tags: The Somme, World War One, Blackadder Goes Forth